Thursday, April 12, 2012

you'll only find what you look for.

Every time I start writing this post, I delete it all.

I feel like it's either too vague and not interesting to read, or it's too anxious.

I guess I'll just say that I wish I was really good at something. I mean like really good. I don't feel like I've really found my niche. I mean, I have narrowed it down quite a bit.

Art > visual art > painting > now I'm stuck

I don't feel like I'm really good at any type of painting, but I know I like it. I can paint for 8 hours straight and feel like it's only been thirty minutes. I don't like painting real paintings. I like surrealistic pieces. I feel like I haven't ever painted anything I absolutely love. I wish I did. I wish I could produce all these pieces that I felt like described me. I wish I could make the paint form into my emotions. I wish I could connect with the canvas the way some people connect with music, or cars, or running. I can't seem to do it, though. I'm still missing techniques and supplies and inspiration. I feel like it's coming. I know I hate the stupid cheap paint from Wal-Mart. I know I love the feeling of brush strokes.

I'm excited for summer to come. That means I will have all the time in the world to really find what I'm good at. 

I used to think I'm good at people, but I don't anymore. I think they are my passion though. I just wish I was a psychologist already.

What I liked about today:
+the fact that Lindsey and I had the same food all day
+watching/listening to Poetry Boy
+all the rain
+the Chinese woman at the store telling me my total was "$3.16" and then continuing on to charge me $12.86
+laughing a lot


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