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Saturday, March 17, 2012

It just happens sometimes.

I know it's been a while, but I'm finally ready to talk.

I hate a lot of things. I hate the way my teacher pronounces the word "always" and I hate the way my sister pronounces the word "coupons". I hate that girl who lies and that other girl who never does. I hate that boy who needs help and I hate that boy who offers too much. I hate the people who call me hipster, because I'm pretty sure it's an insult. I hate the days where the sun is in my face and I can't see where I'm driving. I hate the dreams where I jump off a cliff and don't die. I hate the tapeworm in my stomach and the gnomes who never come when I need them to.
But, most of all, I hate how everyone is sad.

I hate hearing the sob stories. I do. I absolutely hate them. And, I don't hate them because they are lies. I don't hate them because they make me feel stupid. I hate them because they perfectly illustrate how twisted humans can be. They remind me of all the bad there is out in the world. 

They are the acid to my perfectly painted, yellow canvas.

I've spent a lot of time on that canvas, and I don't want acid anywhere near it. But, I think that's cheating. They wouldn't make yellow paint in bulk if you weren't going to have to repaint.

I just hate it when it happens I guess.

I don't want acid on my canvas and I don't want that girl crying on my shoulder. I don't want that boy calling me to yell. Or ever really. I want everyone to be happy, not because they've learned to deal with things, but because the perpetrators no longer exist. I want all the bad people gone.

That's what I really want.
Not world peace, not an abolishment of sickness, not a bazillionmilliontrillion dollars. I want all those stupid, bad people who ruin lives to turn into worms and be eaten by one of those ugly birds with the white stripe and long tail. Because those are the ugliest and it's only fitting.

I don't think that's possible though. Even if I wanted to turn them into worms, my wand is broken. And let's face it, even if my wand wasn't broken I still wouldn't, because wands aren't real and magic isn't either.

So, I guess we just have to learn how to deal with these stupid people. Bad people. Terrible people. Life ruining people. We have to go to therapy or read 1984 or watch Amelie or listen to some Bright Eyes. We have to remember that they don't control us and that we can be who we want and do what we please. We have to tell them to go to hell and not care about the repercussions. We have to be strong and stand up for ourselves. We have to take control of our lives and stop letting them play us like children.

We have to learn to delete them from our lives and forget all the bad things that have happened. We have to run to Home Depot as fast and we possibly can and buy all the yellow paint in the whole store. We have to demand more and hug them when they say "that's all there is". Then, we have to share our canvases and make them into a huge wall that stretches over the whole world. 

I'm making mine. Where's yours?

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